Beginning with my June 2008 post "It's Been Five Years," the following is the continuing story of my travels from the United States into Micronesia ~ Pohnpei, Guam and Saipan ~ and my life since June 2003.
Sunday, August 17, 2003 ~ Pohnpei
We went swimming in the ocean yesterday. Met at a sakau bar owned by a friend of relatives of hers. We wound up discussing a land dispute he has in court here against a cousin of his involving the man-made beach we were swimming at. Absolutely fascinating, considering how you factor in oral agreements and customary law, which differs in some ways from real property law in the U.S.
Some off-duty cops showed up that we made friends with and then wound up going to a river with. In the river were freshwater eels. Wow. Lynn was disgusted and afraid of them. They don't eat them here. Isn't that what unagi sushi is? Anyway, another great day. Until the night.
The sea of domestic tranquility is becoming more turbulent these days. We're fine by ourselves, but family pressure on Lynn, and her rebellious nature are taking their toll, and she takes it out on me when it gets late. I couldn't figure it out before, but she may have a split personality, triggered by manic depression, low self-esteem, abuse of sakau and alcohol, other things. I do know that the highs are very high with her, and the lows between us very sad and low. A lot has to do with her mother being here until Sunday, and Lynn's guilt because she's neglecting her family responsibilities to be with me.
Not that I ask her to. I'm trying to take my cues from her, but she doesn't make the right call that often when it comes to family responsibility. Her family is very mad at her about us. They think Lynn's not being respectfull to her mother and her clan. Most locals think I'm cool, and I don't think I'm the problem.
Lynn asked me to "ask permission" of her mother. We've been together a month, sleeping together every night but one or two. Everyone on island knows. I was asked by a mehn why female lawyer the other day if I'm married yet. Some people here treat us as if we are. Lynn insists that "asking permission" doesn't mean we're getting married. What I'm not sure of is where it is on the line between asking permission to date (which is something they don't actually do here) and being engaged. Despite the turbulence between us, I don't want to see other people. I want to be with her. The turbulence is caused by intra-family conflict about how she's been behaving.
So, I think what's going to happen is that I'm going to take fresh sakau (the raw pepper plant, about 30 lbs. worth) and ask permission of her mother. I'm going to lay out my truth of where I'm at, and that I want "permission" to see Lynn. It's approval and acceptance that I think we're talking about. It's about respect.
I've not been to Nan Madol or climbed Sokeh's Rock, yet. Lots of things I haven't done. Plenty of time to do all that. In the meantime, I'm learning tons lots more than I would being a tourist.
For breakfast we had mangrove crab and rice. Her uncle caught a small one the other night and I killed it and put it in the freezer. Boiled it this a.m. with some garlic powder, salt and pepper. I like the legs and claws; Lynn likes the inner parts (not the gills).
I'm getting slowly darker. Haven't burned at all, which is amazing.
My mother asks if there are cows on the island and if not, where does the milk come from? There are. Haven't seen them. The milk is in some non-refridgerated container that everyone buys. Interesting question, as I'd just asked Lynn the same thing.
My mother next asks what's the school system like, and in what language are the children taught? The schools are good enough, kindergarten through 6th grade, I'm told. After that, bad. English is the common language here. Every state speaks something different, so English is the common language for all. Although some speak it better than others.
My mother next asks what Lynn's mother is doing on Guam. My mother asks a lot of questions I don't think to ask. Answer: She lives there with her husband. Details unknown. Somehow, I think they'd like each other. Long hair, missing an eye tooth or two, others crowned with gold. But she's clearly in command while here. She's been nice to me the one time I was with her. Ten children, 53 yrs. old, looks older. But there's something strikingly beautiful about her somehow. Sakau drinker and betel nut chewer. But not to excess, from what I've seen. She has a great way with babies, rocking them without a rocking chair. And this is the woman I need to go see tonight to ask permission to see Lynn. I can't say I know what I'm doing, but I'm trying to do right and be happy.
The connection between here and Guam is very strong. A lot of locals from here go there, get involved in drugs and alcohol, and come back very messed up, I'm told.
It's early afternoon, but I need some rest before tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment