Beginning with my June 2008 post "It's Been Five Years," the following is the continuing story of my travels from the United States into Micronesia ~ Pohnpei, Guam and Saipan ~ and my life since June 2003.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003 ~ Pohnpei
It's morning here. "Mae sung mwao" (good morning) (ph). It's late afternoon back on the East Coast. "Sochek mwao" (good evening)(ph). (The "(ph)" means I'm spelling it phonetically. If I write "(sp)" after something, it means I'm not sure of the spelling.)
I have an idea that someone may have taken the machete' out of my car when we were at the beach last. There was a suspicious guy sort of hanging around. People hanging around and congregating is not unusual. And you share whatever you've brought with people you may meet. So, I wasn't keeping inventory.
If anyone reading this thinks the drama in my love life is confusing from where they sit, they should try it from where I'm sitting. I'm also beginning to suspect Lynn may have sort of orchestrated the whole thing, too, and allowed people to get the wrong impression. What I thought was going to be a simple sign of respect by asking "permission" to see Lynn had much more meaning than I was led to believe. I tried to get it out of Lynn what it would mean, in depth, in advance; but all she would say was that it didn't mean we were getting married, so I took her at her word. Now, I'm not so sure, as the locals are beginning to refer to her as my wife....
Lynn has a rebellious nature when it comes to customary ways and tradition-based expectations, which in the beginning sort of bridged the cultural divide between us. However, with me trying to take my cues from her, and what she says, and with her not always thinking through the consequences of her rebellious ways, she gets herself in trouble with family and clan. And family ties being what they are here, it's like Lynn trying to walk with me with one end of a big rubber band around her waist, and the other end wrapped around the family. We get only so far and she gets snapped back.
The father of Lynn's children lives in Guam. He hasn't sent child support since he learned of me. I don't know if it's to punish Lynn, or if he assumes I'll just provide. Certain others in Lynn's clan make the latter assumption: that he's no longer responsible; that Lynn is officially with me now, and supporting her and her family is my responsibility. Um, the travel guide books didn't say anything about that.
I talked to Lynn about going to court to get child support. There isn't any court order. She won't do it, because she's afraid the father will take it out on the kids, or it will embarass and alienate the kids from him when they get older to know their mom took their dad to court. And she wants the kids to know their father, as she grew up without one. I encountered the same thinking in the States when I was in private practice, but here, it's so ingrained in the thinking about family relations that it's simply unimagineable to do that ~ to take the father to court for what he owes the kids. It is not my place to change that kind of thinking, because it's cultural. It has to come slowly, over time.
I sure do like her a lot. We laugh together, feel good together, talk a lot. And she's a good teacher. Se-se ("I don't know").
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